Really though, how cool is that? I know I feel I'm always the person to have the crush. I wonder if he notices the smile I have when I'm with him. The looks I give him. My heart racing as we hug. I'll be honest, I've had quite a few crushes in life. I've always been, well, boy crazy! From the time I was a kid in elementary school, all the way up till now I've always loved males. Can't blame me, they're pretty awesome if you ask me.
I've been through a lot when it comes to boys. I've experienced butterflies, those late night phone conversations that made me burst with joy, dreams that make you smile, the awkward first dates, the heartbreaks, the first kisses. I've been through it all. I've even fallen in love. Something I'd always dreamed of doing.
I have been in love with love since I could remember. I always read love stories, wrote my own love stories, and watched as many chick flicks as possible. I began planning my wedding with my childhood best friend when we were very young. We always talked about who we'd marry, what his name could be. How many kids we'd have, what their names would be. We planned what colors we wanted to have in the wedding and what dresses we wanted to walk down the isle in. We were very thorough with our plans; dreamers from the start.
Though, after reading the quote up there, I realized I've spent my whole life dreaming of love and happily ever afters, but never have I once thought about how I could make someone else feel. Sure, I know how they could make me feel, but never them. Then it occurred to me. What if I gave someone else butterflies? What if I was the reason for that adorable crooked smile, or his heart racing. Could I really have the power to make someone feel that way?
I've never really given myself much credit when it comes to that. I mean, as crazy as it would sound to anyone who knows me, I used to be very shy and had an incredibly low self esteem. I was loud to cover up the amount of silence I'd sit in while secretly wishing I could be someone else. As horrible as it sounds, I honestly didn't think it would be possible for someone to like me, much less love me.
I've always talked too much, especially when passionate about something. And who likes a girl who never shuts up, right? I thought being tall was horrible, and hated my body for how skinny I was. There was certainly a lot more, but I'll stop with those few things. I don't like to think back on my old thoughts much, or how things used to be, but it's good to every now and then so I can see and appreciate how far I've come.
Now, I could see me making someone else feel that way. It really does feel wonderful too. And, like the quote says up there, it is very cool to think I could be that special someone in a guys life.
There is always going to be someone out there for all of us that will give us those butterflies. But, there will also always be someone out there that we will give butterflies to as well, just by simply being in the same room. Pretty cool, huh?
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